Baughb, dressed in a fancy coat, frowns at the spectacle in front of him. He is accompanied by Biff the bipolar brownie.

BAUGHB:
> A sorry turnout, Sgt. Biff.

BIFF:
> I warned you, boss. That recruitment poster -- *you* in a *fake beard*. I'm surprised *anybody* showed up. At least they all brought their own arms.

BAUGHB:
> Bah!

We pull out and see the motley group Baughb's been frowning at. They are arrayed in a variety of left-over armor.

BAUGHB:
> Oh, well. It's not my decision anyway. You men understand that as *designated legendary hero*, my function is that of *civilian authority*. You will all have to pass muster with *General Filis*.

The soldiers mutter amongst themselves.

DWARF:
> General *Filis*? Do you know a *Filis*?

IMP:
> *Walter* Filis from Underover?

WISEGUY:
> Wait! it's a *girl*!

TIMID:
> *Good heavens!*

Filis appears looking very innocent and girly, and not at all dressed for war.

FILIS:
> Oh, Baughb, I'm *frightened*! They all look so *strong*! Do I have to fight them *all*?

BAUGHB (ominously):
> The test, men, is *not* to *win*. But to *survive*.