Elf Life

Biff leans into a video screen and smiles.

BIFF:

There you are, Corporal Sprite! Did you get all of that in your magic box?

SPRITE:

Magnabox at the ready, sir. Actually, it's a Fony Handyscam.

BIFF:

Then on my mark -- commence playback!

We now watch a series of video images, as Baughb inspects the trainees. Biff narrates.

BIFF:

First, the recruits -- Baughb helps things along by calling out the weakest link...

The imp and the dwarf are outsiders. Baughb figures they must be unemployed mercenaries.

Meaning they are perhaps competent, if not talented. The big elf is, well, big. Used to using his weight.

Next, a father and son team? Dear old dad looks timid, but that means defense and evasion.

That leaves gladiator, here. Smug, lazy, and overloaded with way too-heavy armor and sword.

Now we watch as Filis prepares to take down wiseguy elf.

See? General Filis approves. She's really digging the boss and his brains these days.

So here comes Julius Seizure. Notice how he has to drag that sword. It's an anchor.

He falls for the bait and thinks he's going to be rewarded just for showing up, despite warnings.

Filis runs by him. The dope lets her, thinking about that kiss. She feints behind him.

He looks to his left, expecting to see her emerge from behind him. Instead, she steps back.

And that's when the real fun begins...